Happy...late...Birthday/Father's day Joe Coleman!

Now before you think I completely forgot my Dad's birthday OR father's day, that is not the case! 

I was in Europe for the latter and it has simply taken me this long to get back into the blogging mode. 

The relationship that I have with my dad is a unique one. Ever since I was a little girl I have been a "daddy's girl." My mom tells stories of me only letting my dad hold me, while they seem exaggerated, they go to show how innate my love for my dad is and was. There are many things that I have learned from my Dad, and I will go into detail of those. However, I think the most important thing that I have gained from my dad is what he has offered me. Whether in his words, actions, or simple presence, he has provided me with a clear understanding of what makes a good father, what to expect of a good father, and how to marry a man who will be a good father. 

In our faith, we believe that the patriarch of a home has the responsibility to Protect, Provide, and Preside. Upon reflecting on childhood memories, I recognize that my dad has fulfilled each of these responsibilities. He has always been invested in his four girls. My dad has been in the United States Navy for about 28 years. He has worked harder than I have ever seen any other man work. There has never been a time in my life, where I have had to fear financial instability within my family. That does not mean by parent's did not have to budget, or penny pinch, but even in their less fortunate times, my dad made sure that money was saved, that college was priority, and that we were all clothed, sheltered, and fed. There is a level of security that can only be reached when I am around my dad. I feel this sense of safety and relief when he is at my side. My dad has a very controlled and composed disposition when difficult or scary things occur. He has always exhibited that it is his primary goal to protect my mom, my sisters, and I. In presiding for my family, my dad always offered blessings to us girls prior to the start of school. It wasn't until I was actually away at college that I realized how much I value these. Just before I was married, I felt incredibly overwhelmed and confused. The decision to be with one person for forever, was nearly too much for me to handle. A few nights before, my dad pulled me aside and expressed his own spiritual/fatherly impression that I was marrying the best person for me. The trust that I have in my dad's ability to preside is what carried me through that evening, and helped me to move forward with faith and confidence in my decision. 

My dad always provided us with a sense of adventure. For years he drove this sea foam green bug pictured above. He would pile each of us girls in and cruise around. One specific memory I have is of my dad waking up the three of us in the middle of the night. He must have carried us into the car, and driven us down the road, because the next thing I remember is him waking us up to show us the bear that had been caught in a trap in the middle of the night. No matter how outrageous it seemed, my dad was sure to make sure that we didn't miss out on the action. There were many camping trips, hikes, and exercise routines over the years. One trip I remember was canoeing to a camp site, when a crazy hail storm it. The hail was the size of golf balls. I remember feeling completely frightened as my dad guided each of us to where we should be for protection. Looking back, it is one of those memories that high lights my dad's wildest moments. It did not matter if hail was falling, if lighting was striking, or thunder roaring--my dad made sure that we were all a part of the adventure. 

As I communicated earlier, my relationship with my dad is unique. As embarrassing as this is, I actually wanted to marry him as a little girl. Clearly I did not understand how a family works, or how a family is made. As I lined up the attributes I wanted in a spouse however, many of my dad's own attributes were on that list. He set the bar for what I should seek in a provider. He helped me to understand through his actions towards my mother, how I should expect to be treated. In his fun, and flirtatious ways with my mom he showed me that fun and friendship are possibilities in marriage. My dad was always open with me when I was going through a difficult time. If he felt that his experiences could enlighten my understanding of what to do, or how to cope, he would share without hesitation. I remember one particular drive down to Portland with him, when he shared with me and advised me about my dating life. He made sure to explain how important it was that I never settled for anything less than my ideal. 

My dad has always made it clear that we are never too old enough to sit on his lap. We take full advantage of this. I don't think he realized however, how much this means to us. My dad was always affectionate towards us, and willing to let us cuddle up. We never had to work for his affection, it was given to us freely and unconditionally. Since I have been married, the concept that I am never too old enough to sit on his lap translates into meaning that I will always be his little girl. The love that I have felt from my dad in these precious moments, has carried me through many difficult childhood, teenage, and adult moments. He has served as a comforter, one that will never be matched. It is a beautiful to know that the super hero father you grow up with, no matter how human he actually is, will always strive to be that same super hero you leaned on. 

My dad gave me a love for exercise. He was always there to encourage us at sports events, and to help us get into better physical shape. As self conscious girls, this was very important. I remember as a little girl, trying to impress him by doing sets of several sit ups. He always made sure that I knew I was capable of succeeding in whichever sport I chose to pursue (even if this wasn't true, it was very kind). He would set up the most intense routines when I was feeling down and needed some extra endorphines (okay...and maybe to lose a few pounds), we would swim, bike, and run. I remember one particular run where I felt like I had no energy left, he looked at me and told me I could do it, that I had it in me. His encouragement was enough to get me to the end. I felt so proud of myself. I am so grateful to his constant encouragement. Physical fitness has become one of the most important things in my life, and I have my dad to thank for that. 

I have a collection of voicemails saved from my dad. One thing each of them have in common is that he is telling me how proud he is. One of my favorites goes like this.. "Hey iz...you know, I am sorry that I am so tired. I just realized that you told me about your exam and I hardly gave you a reaction. I am so proud of you. That is amazing, and you are amazing, and I love you. I'll call you soon. Bye." You may be wondering why this would be the favorite, the one where he forgot momentarily. But what I love about this message, is that he remembered on his own to congratulate me, and was willing to admit he had made a mistake.  Even in his most exhausted moments, my dad has never failed to congratulate me on my accomplishments. He has always kept tabs on my schooling, my exercise, my jobs, and my friendships. When it came time for me to get married, I felt desperate for his approval of Johnny. I feared that since Johnny wasn't the sports watching type, or an exact replica of my dad, that my dad would disapprove. It was one of the most peaceful moments that I have yet to experience when my dad sat me down and told me how happy he was for me. He said to my mom, "either this is too good to be true, or we have hit the jackpot." My dad told me that he would love any man I married as long as the man treated me with respect, was hardworking, and smart. I am absolutely positive that it is very much thanks to my father that I was able to find such fitting companion for myself. 

As I write these things down, I feel overcome with love and appreciation for the presence of my dad in my life. I recognize how truly blessed I am to have such a supportive father. Its because of memories like these that I hold so tightly to being his little girl. 

Happy---everything I missed & more dad! 

I

Happy Birthday Evalyn Coleman!

Many of you who read my blog know my mom well.

Those of you who don't should get to know her.

Today is her birthday, and therefore an additional reason to celebrate her and her countless positive attributes.

As a teenager, I spent far too much energy pushing my mom away, and not even nearly enough focusing in on her and learning as much as I could about being an incredibly strong and capable woman. Since then, I find myself taking on many of the characteristics I spot in her, calling her frequently to seek advice, a recipe, or just a supportive voice on the other end, and probably most often, looking to her for approval in nearly every single one of my daily tasks. 

Our conversations usually start with...

"Mom...what was that one recipe...(you know that one that I refused to make with you several times while living at home)...I'd really like to have that."

"Mom...I have no idea what to do..." often, by the time I've expressed this she has already thrown out the most perfect answer before I can even ask the question. How do those mother's do it?

OR

"So today I cleaned this...and took this exam...and cooked this..." and before I can even pause long enough to realize that all I'm doing is seeking praise, she has bombarded me with how proud she is, how much she loves me, and how excited she is for me. 

So, to my best friend and mom, I'd like to make a tribute, and further explain the many things she has taught me. 

From a very young age, my mom engrained within me a love for music. I think my sisters would agree that there is no feeling quite as comforting as that which we feel when she sits at our piano at home and sings. She would gather us around as little girls and even now, teaching us harmonies, and motioning towards us anytime a page needed to be turned or part needed to be sung. There was hardly a silent moment in our house or cars. Whether it was saturday chores, or a trip to the store, music was blasting---a fact that I think is to blame for my inability to hear anything under the highest volume. 

As music was a big part of my mom's childhood, it was a means for her to develop family unity within our home. Family is my mom's lifeline. Whether it is a phone call to her siblings, bonnie, or a date with my dad, she prioritizes family at the top of her list. I remember countless "I love you's" shared during my childhood, expressed with tears in her eyes and the tightest squeeze possible. I never doubted for a second that my mom felt something real -- one could even describe it as divine. When my mom conveyed her love to me in this way, I couldn't help but feel it resonate within me. My mom has been a mother to many, in offering advice, a place to stay, and that deep love. She is fiercely loyal to family, and has passed that on to each of us girls. Even when the three of us did not get along, there was an unspoken understanding that, we would have each other's backs in kicking a bully's butt if he picked on one of the Coleman girls. Now as I begin my own family, I have a clear understanding of what is most important.

  My mom always taught us the importance of being confident in the way we look. She taught us that confidence is the most sexy attribute. She taught us that hair always grows back and that it is one of the best ways to express oneself (a way to deter us from piercings and tattoos, I suspect.) I can thank my mom for many of my best & worst hair phases. My mom is the best personal shopper I have ever seen--tv shows included, What Not to Wear has to idea what kind of competition they've got! She taught us how to apply make up in a natural way, how to shave our legs, how to dress in a way that was modest but still fashionable. These all may seem like superficial things unless you have ever been a teenage girl. My mom saved us from the confusion of being a preteen--by teaching us these things she helped us pass through a period of gangly awkwardness still feeling happy to be ourselves. She always encouraged my confidence in telling me how beautiful I was, every chance she got. She could sense when we were feeling down on ourselves and would quickly remedy it with words of encouragement or some well needed shopping therapy. 

From my mom, I have adopted a deep rooted excitement and enthusiasm for the holidays. Every holiday was celebrated in a brilliant manner. Thanksgiving entailed a morning football game, early appetizers, a massive meal, and hours of every single person expressing their gratitude. That evening set off our Christmas experience, with the family gathering around the piano to sing carols. Soon after, it was time to get a tree, and spend the evening decorating it, while being spoiled with cocoa and christmas songs in the background. We'd often do an act of service for a family in need leading up to Christmas, and then Christmas eve my mom would invite anyone she could think of to act out the nativity scene and eat loads  of christmas treats. Once all of the guests headed home, we would read our family christmas story, open a present [always our brand new pajamas] and go to bed. It was always made clear that these holidays had more important aspects than food and presents. My mom would always passionately convey the true meaning of Christmas, something my sister's and I now feel equally passionate about. As I reflect on these holidays, I feel overwhelmed with gratitude for the efforts that my mom put towards us having christmas', thanksgivings,  valentines days and easters to remember. I know that these memories are something I will hold dear throughout my entire life, and an ideal that I will try to emulate each year with my own family. 

Probably one of the most important things my mom has ever taught me, or my sisters, is to educate ourselves. My mom is an avid reader. As I think back to many of our family vacations over the years, I have an image my my mom cuddled up with a book, completely engrossed in its contents. This is something we would tease her for, begging her to just put it down and play for a bit. It was not until later that I understood reading is just as fun as playing. Any time that I could not sleep, or I was feeling ill, or having a difficult break up of some sorts, my mom would come to by bedside with four or five books. She would read the first couple pages of each of them until one sparked my interest, and then she would encourage me to dive in. After the completion of a book, she would strike up a conversation about it, further conveying the fun of reading. Books have since been a frequent topic of conversation, and a medium through which my mom and I have bonded. She is one of the most well educated women I know, and I as well as she attribute so much of that to reading. She reads a heavy non-fiction and after completing it, allows herself to read a fun and relaxing fiction. There is hardly a topic I could ask my mom about and not receive an answer that originated from one of her books. For all four of us girls, books are treasures, mediums through which to escape and learn, and full of memories held near and dear. 

From singing to reading, there are so many things my mom has taught me that I am grateful for. The most important things however, is that my mom has been there to guide me, support me, and encourage me in all of my most important decisions. She was my cheerleader when I was accepted to BYU, helping me to see that this university would be the best thing for me, she was my rock during the more difficult times, and my go to person while I made the giant leap of getting married. She was always in tune to my needs, and to what would be best for me, and for that I am forever indebted to her. She continues to guide me along, in making my future the brightest it can be. I am sure that if I can continue to take on her characteristics, values, and passion for life, I will live the best life possible for myself. 

Happy Birthday to you Mom. You are the cherished by so many.

To those of you who do know my mom...Please comment [on the blog please, not on Facebook, so that it can all be in one place] with a memory, or a short sentence expressing your love for her. 

Until next time,

I