Now before you think I completely forgot my Dad's birthday OR father's day, that is not the case!
I was in Europe for the latter and it has simply taken me this long to get back into the blogging mode.
The relationship that I have with my dad is a unique one. Ever since I was a little girl I have been a "daddy's girl." My mom tells stories of me only letting my dad hold me, while they seem exaggerated, they go to show how innate my love for my dad is and was. There are many things that I have learned from my Dad, and I will go into detail of those. However, I think the most important thing that I have gained from my dad is what he has offered me. Whether in his words, actions, or simple presence, he has provided me with a clear understanding of what makes a good father, what to expect of a good father, and how to marry a man who will be a good father.
In our faith, we believe that the patriarch of a home has the responsibility to Protect, Provide, and Preside. Upon reflecting on childhood memories, I recognize that my dad has fulfilled each of these responsibilities. He has always been invested in his four girls. My dad has been in the United States Navy for about 28 years. He has worked harder than I have ever seen any other man work. There has never been a time in my life, where I have had to fear financial instability within my family. That does not mean by parent's did not have to budget, or penny pinch, but even in their less fortunate times, my dad made sure that money was saved, that college was priority, and that we were all clothed, sheltered, and fed. There is a level of security that can only be reached when I am around my dad. I feel this sense of safety and relief when he is at my side. My dad has a very controlled and composed disposition when difficult or scary things occur. He has always exhibited that it is his primary goal to protect my mom, my sisters, and I. In presiding for my family, my dad always offered blessings to us girls prior to the start of school. It wasn't until I was actually away at college that I realized how much I value these. Just before I was married, I felt incredibly overwhelmed and confused. The decision to be with one person for forever, was nearly too much for me to handle. A few nights before, my dad pulled me aside and expressed his own spiritual/fatherly impression that I was marrying the best person for me. The trust that I have in my dad's ability to preside is what carried me through that evening, and helped me to move forward with faith and confidence in my decision.
My dad always provided us with a sense of adventure. For years he drove this sea foam green bug pictured above. He would pile each of us girls in and cruise around. One specific memory I have is of my dad waking up the three of us in the middle of the night. He must have carried us into the car, and driven us down the road, because the next thing I remember is him waking us up to show us the bear that had been caught in a trap in the middle of the night. No matter how outrageous it seemed, my dad was sure to make sure that we didn't miss out on the action. There were many camping trips, hikes, and exercise routines over the years. One trip I remember was canoeing to a camp site, when a crazy hail storm it. The hail was the size of golf balls. I remember feeling completely frightened as my dad guided each of us to where we should be for protection. Looking back, it is one of those memories that high lights my dad's wildest moments. It did not matter if hail was falling, if lighting was striking, or thunder roaring--my dad made sure that we were all a part of the adventure.
As I communicated earlier, my relationship with my dad is unique. As embarrassing as this is, I actually wanted to marry him as a little girl. Clearly I did not understand how a family works, or how a family is made. As I lined up the attributes I wanted in a spouse however, many of my dad's own attributes were on that list. He set the bar for what I should seek in a provider. He helped me to understand through his actions towards my mother, how I should expect to be treated. In his fun, and flirtatious ways with my mom he showed me that fun and friendship are possibilities in marriage. My dad was always open with me when I was going through a difficult time. If he felt that his experiences could enlighten my understanding of what to do, or how to cope, he would share without hesitation. I remember one particular drive down to Portland with him, when he shared with me and advised me about my dating life. He made sure to explain how important it was that I never settled for anything less than my ideal.
My dad has always made it clear that we are never too old enough to sit on his lap. We take full advantage of this. I don't think he realized however, how much this means to us. My dad was always affectionate towards us, and willing to let us cuddle up. We never had to work for his affection, it was given to us freely and unconditionally. Since I have been married, the concept that I am never too old enough to sit on his lap translates into meaning that I will always be his little girl. The love that I have felt from my dad in these precious moments, has carried me through many difficult childhood, teenage, and adult moments. He has served as a comforter, one that will never be matched. It is a beautiful to know that the super hero father you grow up with, no matter how human he actually is, will always strive to be that same super hero you leaned on.
My dad gave me a love for exercise. He was always there to encourage us at sports events, and to help us get into better physical shape. As self conscious girls, this was very important. I remember as a little girl, trying to impress him by doing sets of several sit ups. He always made sure that I knew I was capable of succeeding in whichever sport I chose to pursue (even if this wasn't true, it was very kind). He would set up the most intense routines when I was feeling down and needed some extra endorphines (okay...and maybe to lose a few pounds), we would swim, bike, and run. I remember one particular run where I felt like I had no energy left, he looked at me and told me I could do it, that I had it in me. His encouragement was enough to get me to the end. I felt so proud of myself. I am so grateful to his constant encouragement. Physical fitness has become one of the most important things in my life, and I have my dad to thank for that.
I have a collection of voicemails saved from my dad. One thing each of them have in common is that he is telling me how proud he is. One of my favorites goes like this.. "Hey iz...you know, I am sorry that I am so tired. I just realized that you told me about your exam and I hardly gave you a reaction. I am so proud of you. That is amazing, and you are amazing, and I love you. I'll call you soon. Bye." You may be wondering why this would be the favorite, the one where he forgot momentarily. But what I love about this message, is that he remembered on his own to congratulate me, and was willing to admit he had made a mistake. Even in his most exhausted moments, my dad has never failed to congratulate me on my accomplishments. He has always kept tabs on my schooling, my exercise, my jobs, and my friendships. When it came time for me to get married, I felt desperate for his approval of Johnny. I feared that since Johnny wasn't the sports watching type, or an exact replica of my dad, that my dad would disapprove. It was one of the most peaceful moments that I have yet to experience when my dad sat me down and told me how happy he was for me. He said to my mom, "either this is too good to be true, or we have hit the jackpot." My dad told me that he would love any man I married as long as the man treated me with respect, was hardworking, and smart. I am absolutely positive that it is very much thanks to my father that I was able to find such fitting companion for myself.
As I write these things down, I feel overcome with love and appreciation for the presence of my dad in my life. I recognize how truly blessed I am to have such a supportive father. Its because of memories like these that I hold so tightly to being his little girl.
Happy---everything I missed & more dad!
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This is really sweet.
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